Tired…

So we had a pretty good 4th of July holiday. Brian is home this week, that has been great. We got a dog on Saturday, that has been so-so. She was a neglected Husky that doesn’t know what the word “no!” means. We say it a lot though. Brian has been working with her and she now knows how to sit. We have to tell her about 5 times before she does it, but she does. She’s really pretty, but we are not sure if she will continue to stay with us or not.

I came into work this morning, and another woman in the office pointed out this article to me…

So this morning wasn’t my favorite. If you would like a background on the situation you can follow other blog postings about the man that attacked me, and how we caught him, on fordignity.blogspot.com.

Anyway, so this is an article from yesterday’s paper. It made me cry. Even though the woman put herself in a bad situation, I do feel bad for her. “Witnesses verified the woman ripped down the motel room curtains and screamed for help.” I hope that it will make my case against him feel more likely to the judge and jury.

So I am really tired, hence the title. I just am. I am most days. Yesterday I was really tired. Not really sleepy tired, just tired…more like drained….emotionally drained. It may be because I think too much about the wrong things. And a lot of them don’t seem like the wrong things. Like thinking about how great it would be to have a deck or back patio, about how I would like to be overseas for a year, or what kind of pictures I would like to hang on the wall. But the little things add up and I exhaust myself. Especially when I think about them on top of the big things. Like the attack, finishing my schoolwork, and running a business.

Maybe I have too much on my plate. I work full time, have a husband, am trying to start a business, have a house to maintain, a couple of classes with a ongoing degree looming over my head, a possible trial coming up, and I want to add things to that! I must be crazy.

Today I was making file tabs at my extremely exciting job, and realized my need for contentment. I have to many wants, and what I need is to be content. I need to take refuge in Jesus and simplify life a little. I need to still care about the world, but not feel like I need to take full responsibility to save the women and girls from bad men who want to exploit them. God is handling the situation. I just need to ask him where I should help.

So I don’t know what this means for all of these things. All I know is that I’m tired. I don’t want to be tired anymore.

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